The Relationship of Bondage

Bondage 2

The relationship of bondage.  One is held captive in a loveless relationship.

The captivity of this relationship is more subtle, yet intense.  It is a submission of one’s happiness to submit to a relationship, held by psychological obligation, or the fear of moving on.

The relationship of bondage is much more involving, because there are binding factors that will not allow us to break the chains of the relationship.  To get out is not impossible; and it is not easy either.  But rather than do what needs to be done to end the relationship, we make excuses for why we stay.

Life is too short to be unhappy in a relationship.

In a relationship, we are dealing with Love.  Okay, perhaps you can’t see its vastness beyond your four walls or beyond your world, but don’t you deserve more? Don’t you want the best out of life? Aren’t you here for a mission and a self fulfilling purpose that begins with you? Can’t you envision the possibilities of being with someone who is like minded as yourself, and who will love you as good as you deserve?  Don’t you want that?

There is a saying, “You made your bed, now lie in it”.  Okay.  You have!  You have done it. You have taken less when you wanted more. You have lain in that bed when you deserved to be elsewhere. You have done your time.

Now is the time and the time is you.

You are in bondage when your partner is manipulating situations in order to force you to stay. You are in bondage when you doubt that you and your partner even LIKE each other.  You know you are in bondage when you have resolved yourself to making excuses for staying.

You are just trying to accept and adjust to a level of insanity, in order for you to remain on course with your life. If you don’t you just might go a little nuts, or you might do something drastic.  So, you look forward to being away from your partner.  Going to work, or going out is one of the highlights of your day.  Anywhere but there.

You are mentally bound, because your thoughts have you trapped in a relationship you think you cannot overcome, being held captive by the situations resulting from the relationship, to the point you concentrate more on the impact of you ending the relationship, versus the results of you being free from the relationship.  (Psychologically trapped)

You are verbally bound, because you will not say how and what you really truly feel, in fear of an argument or the drama that will ensue.  You just keep the peace and seek solutions elsewhere.  (Lack of effective communication)

You are sexually bound. Your partner is hardly sexing you, but has no problem in being diligent in monitoring your comings and goings to ensure you are not sleeping elsewhere. (Sexual manipulation)

Your partner knows the relationship is unpleasant, and instead of focusing on improvement, you are controlled and monitored, by inquisition, invasion of privacy and social surveillance.  You are consistently accused. You are being held in captivity.

In the relationship of bondage you are questioned of any liberties you may choose to have.  You are neglected, unloved, unsupported, denied, and deprived of the essential needs for your emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, and psychological well being that you need from someone.

People are stuck, bound by fear, manipulated to stay in bad relationships, while being controlled to be in a relationship of bondage.

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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7 Responses to The Relationship of Bondage

  1. Ada Igah. says:

    I was once a victim. but God delivered me. D only tin i did not share with him was ‘SEX’

  2. “Your partner knows the relationship is unpleasant, and instead of focusing on improvement, you are controlled and monitored, by inquisition, invasion of privacy and social surveillance. You are consistently accused. You are being held in captivity.”

    Been there. And now coming up on the 15 year anniversary of leaving there.

    • Wow! Powerful! It takes a hell of a lot of courage to get out of this type of relationship. To be an overcomer speaks volumes to your character.

      • yeah…I agree with you there. It was the divorce from hell that wouldn’t quit for 10 years after the fact…we are just now, not at war. But only because the only way to keep the peace was to never allow him to speak to me again. It’s been a rugged road.

      • I can totally relate. It took me years to get my divorce also. I had to take a journey of loving myself again and getting acquainted with me when it was over. It has been tough, but I am so much stronger emotionally and psychologically— and most importantly, emotionally and psychologically healthy. If there is any support I can provide, you can find me right here. I am familiar with your road.

      • Thank you…I will frequent your blog, I like your efforts in the subject matter. Thank you again! 🙂

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