The Entitled Partner

Does entitlement work in a relationship? Maybe that is not the question. The real question is how CAN it work in a relationship?

The Urban Dictionary had the best description for Entitlement: “someone who thinks something is owed to them by life in general; or because they are who they are.”

I was originally doing statistical research on “The Entitled” due to the selfishness and greed of folk who fit this description. Instead, I ran across this article that enlists a host of other issues? We are not giving the relationship a fighting chance with all of these problems. Not only do we have the “me, me, me” thing going on, but we have a host of other negative factors to deal with also?

In the article, Dealing With People Who Act Entitled “People who take a position of entitlement act contemptuous of others. Superior. They become offended…… and have a very difficult time apologizing when they make a mistake or act inappropriately. They may easily blame, criticize, shame, humiliate or judge others—or demand that others meet their needs or live up to their standards—but are resistant to meet your needs…… and they aren’t empathetic. They act as if they have the right to do or say whatever they want.”

This is unacceptable and wrong on so many levels! Can you say, “Hell No!”

Those partners who feel entitled are the destroyers in the relationship. No doubt. Hands down.

Let me guess. Are they liberal partners? (Neh!) They always go the extra mile? (Nah!) Admit when they are wrong? (Never!) They go hard in the bedroom, and are uninhibited and unlimited? (Ha!) They have an answer to their own problems or do they need you? (Yep!) Can they handle their own finances successfully without any help from their appreciative partners? (Say What!) Are they go getters? (Only when they are going to get something someone is giving to them.) Are they considerate of others? (What others? It is all about them!)

The personality profile continues with a gamut of negative factors. They barely give anything, and when they do, they really think they are doing something extra. Stingy and they reap stingy. Ungrateful, because they believe you owe them something. Insecure, you cannot tell them anything. They are also suspicious, because they ignore their higher consciousness for a higher calling to selflessness. Being high minded is the necessary illusion for them to believe they are someone they are not. Defensive, is the front line of defense to ward off anyone seeing fault in them.

Woa! There is an imbalance in the relationship. The differences are far greater than the commonalities.

The person who feels entitled needs to get a handle on truth, especially about who they are. They are not bringing much value in the relationship. It is impossible to bring value, when you are the devaluing cause. A thorough review of self-deficiency problems is a mandate, and taking a hard look at their selfish ways is an absolute necessity. Ask the question why selfishness is there. Being selfish is indicative of fear for the lack of abundance. They need to realistically and objectively analyze their minimal contribution in the relationship. It is important to admit when a mistake has been made. See life as a gift, and be appreciative for being able to get up every morning. Make it a habit to say the words, “thank you.” The words may feel foreign, and maybe even feign at first. But keep at it. Make an effort to do a kind gesture every day, whether in word or deed. Lastly, make a concerted effort to turn off the self-focus mode, and put yourself in the shoes of your partner.

Entitlement is a detriment to your relationship and an illusion in your self-made reality. Get over yourself already!

About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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