Writer and Creator of “The Relationship Destroyers”.
My knowledge comes from multifarious experiences and information like, being married for 20 years, raising two awesome children, growing up in a christian church, being a singer, choir member, church announcer, managing over 100 employees, and 15 offices as a Regional Office Manager/Assistant Vice President of Operations. I had to learn quickly how to solve many personal problems of my staff in order to improve employee performance. Employees perform better on the job when in happy relationships. To create balance, and add more discipline in my life, I became a trained vocalist, and an off Broadway actress in New York. Navigating between being a manager in corporate america, a singer, and an actress helped to broaden my perspective on life and expand my creativity.
People management training taught me many things, like self esteem (3 out of 5 employees lack self esteem). Making objective and sound decisions in the most extreme situations comes with the territory of facility management. My background in psychology provided much insight on human behavior and the why for behaviors. One of my favorite studies was conflict management. This taught me the skill of creating a win-win for both sides. Most folk avoid conflict. When people avoid conflict they miss out on an opportunity. Conflict and good listening skills bring deeper levels of understanding.
There was a tragic point in my life where emotions took me on a downward spin. I lived with a broken heart, everyday, for one long and painful year. I felt emotional pain everyday. Emotions drove me to a very dark place, where I stared death in the face. It was at that point, I had to make a change. I have never gone back or even looked back. Reading the book “In The Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant took me on the path of self love and self awareness after having to end my marriage.
It was in New York, where my journey, thanks to a dear friend, took me on the study of African history, and it gave me the foundation of my origin, the historical past and the current societal, economical, and educational conditions of my people. Learning from The Great John Henrik Clarke, Dr Ivan Van Sertima, Dr Ben, Amos Wilson, Dr Joy Leary, Dr Frances Cress Welsing and others provided me with historical and societal intelligence. The study of history is the beginning of the foundational study of self.
“Black Women in Antiquity”, “Why Black Men Love White Women” “48 Laws of Power”, “Mind Magic”, “The Power of Concentration”, “177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class”, “Becoming a Critical Thinker” and many other books is where I’ve learned to generate logical thought and channel my emotions. I’ve learned to objectively think through everything and anything— especially in relationships.
As a Passion Party Consultant, I traveled hosting parties and promoting sexual awareness to women. This turned into consulting. I held one-on-one sessions helping couples to improve their sexual relationship.
What could make me different from some people, if that truly exists, is I can learn and apply information from anything around me. When I experience tough situations, I do not run. I stand there, dive in, work it out and I work it through. Dealing with pain head-on is much more agonizing than suppressing or avoiding it. I do not avoid or suppress pain.
Emotion is the most beautiful aspect of our lives, and encompasses everything there is to being human, but that same emotion can work against us. Not only can it ruin relationships, but it can also destroy our lives in ways of suicide, depression, wrath, etc.
In order to build experience and knowledge while on the emotional journey, (and we always are) the formula is (learning + application + results = experience).
My experience, and the shared experiences of others, has given me empathy, love, and compassion, with objectivity and a twist of passion. I love harder and go hard in every endeavor I take on. I not only write about it, but I feel what I am writing, and I live what I write about.
I hope you will join me on the journey of The Relationship Destroyers!