We may be somewhat oblivious as to how one lie can impact a relationship. A lie is a powerful divider and a real destroyer. Many relationships do not recover.
As three dimensional human beings, we are shaped with layers of emotions that run deep, and all emotions suffer a severe blow when we find our partner has lied to us.
The relationship either comes to a halt or becomes edgy and very tense.
We feel deceived and begin to wonder: How long have we been lied to or was this the first time? Why did our partner choose to lie? What is he/she really hiding? These thoughts bring feelings of vulnerability, causing us to feel we were a fool for believing.
There is the feeling of being betrayed and deceived. Feeling betrayed leaves us with a feeling of inadequacy, questioning what did we do to have caused this to happen? Was this our fault?
Our trust has been breached, which leads to disrespect for our partner. Disrespect holds a very thin line for dislike.
If our partner was exposed in the lie, then we are forced to consider how long has the lie been going on. If our partner confessed, there are no perks or special consideration for lying. It could work in his/her favor for confessing; or it can work against them. Was the confession a smoke screen for a more horrible truth?
Another part of the impact comes with the repercussions, which is actually our responses and behaviors that we now have toward our lying partner. Now we are compelled to question, and distrust every word, every action, every motive and deed. We doubt almost everything now.
There is also the possibility of us carrying “lying” baggage from a previous relationship. This becomes a force that we must relive again. Although this has nothing to do with our current relationship, it has everything to do with the relationship, so we are forced to reckon with the whole gamut of one lie. We are not capable of measuring the degree of pain and how we really feel at this point. We just know that what we are facing today is a repeat of what we had to live with before.
All of these feelings put the relationship in a downward spiral, to the point, that there is a lack of sex, distrust, disrespect, disbelief, lack of communication, and even dislike.
The entire relationship takes a hit, just from one lie.