The Death of Love

Death of Love2

We are killing Love, and in doing so, we are dying.

Many of us are emotionally damaged, hurt, suffering from immense pain, because we gave our heart to a fool who mistreated and carelessly mishandled us.

From social disorders, to emotional fears, overwhelmed by loneliness, protection by use of false pride, unyielding stubbornness, and abandonment issues— all of these things are either generated, ignited or perpetuated from us being wounded by Love, or from Love being absent in our lives.  We have these ailments, as a mental defense mechanism for the pain we feel; for the pain that won’t go away, and our increasing sensitivity to the injury we have in our hearts.

We seek ways to self-protect, by any means necessary.

Generations before us have endured slavery, wars and battles, depression, ice age, various disasters and chaos, but somewhere between there and here, our generations have become decreasingly easily broken.  Broken in our minds and hearts of love lost that has left us depleted of mental and emotional strength.   There is a frailty that exists in our soul, mind and spirit; yet we are masking these weaknesses with toughness, bad attitudes, defensiveness, or a smile that would break into a cry if it could.

We may be the most technologically advanced people, but we are definitely not the strongest. We have more disorders now than ever before.

It’s not that we cannot handle the problems of love.  We were built to handle anything, because just like children, we too, are still resilient.  It is because many of us are too injured and emotionally paralytic to do so.

When we hurt, and shut down to Love, it dies within, causing us to break.  We need Love to have strength.  We need Love as a foundation to our existence, and it begins with self-love.  The degree of self-love (or not) is exemplified through the experience we give to others.  Growth and development is driven through the strength and aggression of self-love.

We very much want to be loved.  We don’t say it, but it is so evident in our behaviors of anger, frustration, desperateness, extreme tolerance, and hatred. It is indicative in our allowance for someone to abuse us and call it Love. We want so badly to be the core of someone’s affection; so we create our own illusion of self-importance in the name of narcissism.  We try to replace our generosity with selfishness, because being taken advantage of has been the repercussion for giving.

We desire and deserve to give our love freely, without having our heart cut up and thrown in our face, but we hold back in fear and lack of confidence, feeling we no longer know how to choose the right person.  Our past mistakes remain our present fear.  So much for our past being behind us.

Somewhere we have been convinced that being alone and strong for a while is the worst way to live; so we settle for the okie-doke.  We will settle for the worst person who could not sex a blow up doll into a fake orgasm if they tried; due to the belief that having someone is better than having no one.

Our statistics show, 39% of women will marry a man they know is the wrong guy. Our divorce rate is rising over a hard 60%.

In failing to rise above our pain, we create further misery.

When we are not loved, we become socially awkward and begin to lack the ability of empathy.  We fumble at the words of love’s true expression, and we fail at its authentic demonstration.

You have been wrongly convinced that you won’t find Love.  Being hurt by someone is par for the course of Love, but it was never meant to knock you off the course.

See, being hurt by Love, tells us just how vulnerable we really are.  This is Love’s side affect— vulnerability.  When we feel the pain from a broken Love, it was never meant for us to fall in a dark hole of depression.   It was to give us more experience of Love in order to become more acquainted with it, the good and the bad, and more importantly to prevent us from hurting someone else.

Never was Love’s pain meant to continue the cycle of pain.

If there was anything I could say to stop the cycle of pain, I would start with you.  You are much stronger than you think.  If your body has been designed to fight infections and diseases, what do you think the power of your mind holds? Your mind, once it is made up, has been known to heal the body; create your success through continual visualization by the picture in your mind’s eye.  It will work out your problems in a dream revealing the mysteries of your solutions and what is to come.  The power of your mind can transpose your illusion into a fake reality and vice versa.  Use it to find your power to overcome pain.

(Coming up next:  It Wasn’t Meant to Be — The Excuse)

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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7 Responses to The Death of Love

  1. psichomofo says:

    “Many of us are emotionally damaged, hurt, suffering from immense pain, because we gave our heart to a fool who mistreated and carelessly mishandled us.” ->> Meeeeeee

  2. psichomofo says:

    “We try to replace our generosity with selfishness, because being taken advantage of has been the repercussion for giving.” ->> me Again

  3. psichomofo says:

    I do not understand self love or love your self

    • Hey Sweetie! Often times when we end a relationship, we should always take time to rebuild and self study to love ourselves. The building process happens when you self analyze. Love yourself for the good you have in you and what you do. Search for what really makes you happy and do not compromise that for anyone. Always do what makes you happy. Discover your weaknesses and be patient in doing the self work to strengthen them. Reward your successes and celebrate when you have made achievements. Be patient with your self when you must make self corrections. Lastly, forgive yourself and learn from the past to remake your present and future tense. Much love to you! You are so deserving of all the goodness this world has for you!

  4. psichomofo says:

    Reblogged this on Psichomofo and commented:
    This is so accurate about my life right now.
    I’m still trying to learn what is self love and I hurt from the pain of loving someone who abused it.

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