Settling to Settle Down

Settling is a form of desperation.  For what other reason would someone just settle?  Fear of being alone?  Would you settle for $1.00 over $1000?  If not you should not settle for anyone whom you know straight from your gut that this person will not last in your life. 

Settling creates a situation of dichotomy for yourself.  You will second guess yourself, ultimately giving your self confidence a blow that will take you some time to recover.  This will impact your self trust.  And there is your self esteem to consider. 

Through out the term of the relationship, in which you are settling, you will be compromising or fighting all the way.  Either way you are losing and another relationship is coming to an end by which there was never a fighting chance. The residue from a broken relationship takes purging not just cleansing.  Way too much self clean up for “settling.”

If your instincts are crying out the word, “no” and if you feel any doubt (you know that gnawing doubting feeling) just pull back. 

Agree to an interim arrangement instead. 

An interim arrangement is healthy once you understand the terms of the arrangement.  No ties.  No committment.  No expectations.  Non committal fun!  These relationships are probably healthier than the standard relationship.  You both can agree to just go for the ride and enjoy the moments as they come.  An interim relationship always provide unforeseen fun and an openess that is much harder to achieve in a relationship where you are settling to settle down.

This will provide a healthy arrangement while you do you!

We cannot rush time.  So while time takes its time, you take yours by living a life as Iyanla Vanzant’s book says, “In The Meantime”!

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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