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Cheating (How do I stop going through his phone?)
Your Name? Anonymous? (not a required field): Got a question or comment? “I have been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and he has cheated on me a number of times. I always find out about it as I go through his phone. This makes us fight a lot as he says hes phone is his private space. I understand this but because of his cheating ways, I feel its better I know who is the ‘flavour of the month” he has different women in any given moment. The last one was my older sisters friend. I love him and I have accepted his cheating ways, either than that he treats me so well, if I dont touch his phone we are great, nothing would indicate he is cheating. I should stop with snooping around his phone but I cant. He doesnt check my phone because I think he knows I wouldnt cheat on him as I am so very predictable. How do I stop touching his phone? “
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Hello My Friend!
In order to stop touching his phone, you must do one thing and one thing only.
Total and complete acceptance. You say you have, but the phone touching indicates otherwise. I’m not judging here. I totally get it. You must truly accept his cheating. Without deviation.
Anything outside of acceptance is continual mental and emotional torment of what he is doing; who he is doing it with; why he is doing it and what makes him do it.
Make a pact with him. There should be ground rules—dammit! He is not to cheat with women you know. You have the power to make that request. How many women are willing to make such an allowance? He should adhere to your request without question. Have you considered how his cheating impacts the relationship in the areas of trust, honesty, or credibility? We may need to tighten something up there, because you should not have to go through his phone to find out— especially since you’re willing to be accepting.
Acceptance comes from you becoming one with yourself, and getting to a place of self-power. Executing your self-power makes his cheating of little to no value. Self-power takes your mind and thoughts higher than where you are, causing certain things in life to have little impact due to little value. That takes some work. But you can do it! Read power books, like 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class. Watch DVDs like E-Motion, and The Secret, etc. Books like “In The Meantime, by Iyanla Vanzant” are instructionally powerful regarding loving yourself. Loving self is an open ended task. Take a class. Take on a cause you care about. Fulfill a dream or two. Do these things only because it is something you’ve always wanted to do. Your mission? Gain power!
The point is, there are many other things holding higher importance than a man who can’t think outside of his dick. I say this respectfully, but honestly.
Additionally, he should not find you predictable. Predictability implies boredom. I must assume you are exciting, fun, (not so predictable), sexy and knocking him out in the bedroom. His cheating should not be because of something you are not doing. When you’re sexing him, keep in mind, you aren’t sexing a cheater. You are sexing a man, who in that moment and time wows you sexually and you enjoy it tremendously.
Care to level the playing field? Maybe you’ve always wanted to cheat? Maybe there is someone in your circle who has interest, and you are not yielding to temptation because of your cheating man? If so, put that on the table. What’s good for the man is good for you also.
Wishing you love and happiness!