The destruction in your relationship lies within the areas of your weakness. It lies within the areas you need to master.
Your contribution of destruction comes from what you have not conquered. The unfinished self-work you are not doing. This makes your destruction more insidious, and more powerfully destructive than any outside force can ever be.
Your destruction may not cause an argument. It may not even be as blatantly obvious as a lie, but it corrodes and kills in a way that is a lot less confrontational.
Your relationship is as vulnerable as your weakest weakness. Forget about destroyers like, lying, cheating, abuse and the like. Mostly likely, if you are reading this, these destructive behaviors you do not have.
We understand there is a list of emotional and behavioral destroyers that we either do or say. We also know it is the things we do not say or do. In a relationship we are either building or destroying.
The comfort zone is your limiting parameter. It is as far as you will go with your heart, your emotions, imagination, and your sexual abilities— even though, you know, stepping out of your comfort zone will bring unpredictability, creativity, and enhance your varietal dynamics in order to defeat the ho-hum pattern of your relationship.
The inability to love yourself, impacts your ability to love. Your relationship will only go as far as your limitations. Your inner fear puts constraints on your love and its demonstration. Your heart is in bondage, so you cannot give love freely.
Insecurity impacts what you should, but do not feel about yourself, and it is revealing about the trust you cannot invest in your partner. Jealousy is a byproduct of insecurity and it rears its ugly head in the areas of the trust you cannot provide.
Procrastination is not only about what you are stalling to do in your life, but it will hinder and prohibit most of your decision making. It will stall you from being decisive and dealing with issues in the relationship.
Whatever you are or whatever you are not— mirrors in your relationship, because a relationship is not separate of who you are, it is reflective of who you are.
Notice the powers of destruction that limitations have. Limitations are a silent killer in a relationship, because they will only allow you to go so far. Meaning, you are incapable of going the distance. Limitations will bring you to the place where you have nothing more to give. You’ve reached a dead end.
Then without warning, and without having an argument, the relationship hits the end of the road. It comes to an end, yet no one said the relationship is over.
Being oblivious to what is happening; both partners resume life as if they are together. It is only a matter of time before someone realizes that they just grew apart. After awhile being together will begin to feel foreign, and uncomfortable. Conversations will become meaningless and even redundant. There will be an uneasy silence when you are with your partner.
Without understanding what is going on, one of the partners will begin to grow outside of the relationship in order to continue to stay in an empty relationship. Focusing on self is one of the first things people pursue when they find they are in a failing relationship. This diminishes the similarities and commonalities of what the relationship had before.
All because your limitations and refusal to grow and expand has reached its limit.
Neutrality is a relationship destroyer in the ways of unresponsiveness in word or deed. Good relationships are made and maintain when both partners are attentive, active, engaged, interacting and responsive to each other. Not knowing what to say or failing to try is a tragic way to conduct a relationship.
Do you have an addiction or hobby you do not balance in your life? You spend more time with the addiction than you do in your relationship? Perhaps you cannot address issues directly? Do not like confrontation? Being direct is the only way to address an issue. Dancing around it, ignoring, or back burning it will leave a pile up of unaddressed issues.
Self mastery is paramount to you not destroying your relationship.
We all come with something we need to work on. Life in all of its unpredictable moments leave us where we are either conquered or we are the conqueror— the wins and defeats will reflect in our relationship.
Self mastery is paramount to removing ways you destroy your relationship.
A weakness brings destruction because a relationship is always impacted by what you think, feel, respond, and process. You can build your relationship daily by confronting your fears, expanding those tight areas of limitations, increasing your demonstration of love, mastering those weaknesses, work on being fun to be around, being passionate, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Pushing out your parameters of limitations will increase the value you bring to the relationship, and more importantly, your life!
A relationship should be a thriving and fun place to be.