Relationship: PLAY Together!


Remember the days when we would play together and play fight?  Remember as girls, we would always hit the boy we liked?  Playing with each other created a fun spin to the relationship with our little boyfriend.

Who said we must give that up? Bring it in the adult relationship!

It is a saying, “Couples who play together, stay together.”

If you keep the playfulness in the relationship, there is an edge you maintain.  Even the sex will have an edge when you play together.  All of the fun aggression comes through under the sheets!  If you are not comfortable at play fighting, and playing together, your relationship is missing something. It’s missing the openness, the fun and you both are sexually inhibited, (at least with each other) which makes your relationship sexually limited.

Playing together keeps the relationship from being rigid, stiff or worse, boring!

According to Amie, of “Psyche Your Mind”, Psychology Says Couples Who Play Together, Stay Together,   “…couples who engage in more novel and arousing activities together are happier in their relationships.  …. arousing activities keeps us from getting bored, and boredom is a relationship killer”.

Sharing fun together brings more unity and corroboration.  A continual interaction of doing things as a couple builds intimacy and security.  The more a couple does together the more reasons they have to stay together.

We all want adventure and someone to have fun with.  We all want that one person we can actually be ourselves with.  As a couple you should just engage in pure unadulterated fun!  If you can do this at play, you can definitely do it in the bedroom!  The dynamics of play fighting and having sex is not much different, well…. it is, but then it isn’t!   

It is impossible not to laugh when you play.  Take note.  The harder you play, the harder you laugh!  Enjoy laughter together!  When you can really break down and get on the floor laughing, to the point your stomach hurts, you are breaking down communicative barriers and opening up more emotional portals.

I remember some time ago, I met a guy.  I tried to open up the interaction by playing with him, so I hit him.  Just a basic hit in the chest and nothing drastic.  His whole face changed!  I looked up at this stacked 6’3 man, wondering what was wrong with him.  I had to listen to some long drawn out story of buffoonery, and some carried over emotional baggage about why he has a problem with playing.

Oh boy.  I concluded in that moment, he was controlling, egotistical and sexually inhibited.  I didn’t drop him, although I knew in my gut I would.  I could be wrong.  Let me check it out before I become involved in something I will have to end later.  I have no time for stupid decisions.

Can I tell you I was right about my personality assessment?

We were watching a movie at my house, and without warning, I moved like a ninja, straddled him, held his arms back as if I was wrestling him, and gave him a deep kiss.  Ha!  I threw him off—again! You would have thought I dropped kicked him!  He actually complained, saying he wasn’t ready for me to kiss him that way, because he wanted me to kiss him, this way, and that way. Oh no!  Not this girl, my man! He proceeded to tell me, “You manhandled me.” I told him, “Baby, say no more”.

I did drop kick him— right out of my house and then out my life.  Like a hot potato. Never to be seen again.  Yep! Just like that.

Even in his kiss I knew I couldn’t be with him.

He still calls me from time to time, after all this time, telling me I was too dominant, yet he wants to sleep with me.  I told him (not as nicely as I am writing here) he was acting like a girl.  I always respect my brothers but this kind of weakness, I have no tolerance for.  He was a 6-foot dude whining about how much he needed to control a kiss. Man bye!  Yo! Get outta here!

Sex with him would have been a dreadful mistake. When I want to have a lieutenant in the bedroom, I will put on my lieutenant lingerie gear.  Okay…I love taking orders in the bedroom, but not from some weak man who cannot handle, (what he thought) to be a little domination? He has already proven to be inhibited, limited and he has a problem with sexually free women.

“Ain’t nobody got time for that”!

If you are not comfortable playing together, your life together lacks spice and your relationship is way too predictable.  When you play together, the relationship never gets old.  You create an emotional, physical and intimate bond, by being comfortable with each other in various ways.  Think about it, you are physically free together, sexually free together, intimately free together, emotionally free together, competitively free together, and you are building strategy when you find ways to win together.

If you have not engaged in play with your partner, then bring it back.  Try touching in fun with the high five. Do that more often.  Begin touching each other again.  Hug, just because.  Engage in scrabble, or some word game. Never get too used to each other.  Rich Dad Poor Dad has a great game called, “Cash Flow” that teaches how to build real life wealth while having fun.  Grab your partner with a death grip and force him/her to struggle free.  Bump each other.  Sit on each other.  Wrestle, pillow fight, and stop being  rigid!

Take up some sort of physical sport together. Boxing and Jiu jitsu is fun.  Get your exercise in together.  P90X is fabulous for home workouts and it works.  If you jog together, make it fun.  Snatch your partner’s hat and run in zigzags down the street to avoid getting caught.

The point is to build up the physical energy between you.  Energy ignites energy! It is rare we see highly energetic couples, and when we do see them, they are captivating.  We cannot help but to watch them, while pretending we are not watching them.

Open up the doors to laugh again— together. Laugh hard, and don’t hold back. Laughter has also been known to be a healing property.

If you are really doing it right, you will make all the right moves, many times ending up with sex right behind the pillow fight or bed throw down. Watch your sex life improve because fun and sex goes hand in hand.

About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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1 Response to Relationship: PLAY Together!

  1. psichomofo says:

    Reblogged this on Psichomofo and commented:

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