There are situations where we were rejected, only for us to be the destined partner for the real Love up the road. Other times, we suffer rejection and we were the prime selection.
It is easy to look at rejection as a bad thing. It impacts us in such a painful way. We opt, of course, for acceptance versus rejection. We will do everything we can to be accepted, and when we are not, we are willing to change our identity, if necessary, just to be accepted.
Rejection forces us to face a potential ugly truth about ourselves, because we measure our self-worth against the other person who was selected, implying they won, and we lost. We feel less than who we are. Being rejected had to mean we were not good enough. Not attractive enough. Not symmetrically built right. These results are evidenced by the words, “I do not want you”. We think we were not appealing enough. Not sexy enough. Not man enough. Not woman enough.
Rejection comes in various forms. But generally, it comes in the form of a job we applied for, or we suffer rejection from someone we yearn to be with.
According to Professor Andrew Gelman, of Statistics and Political Science at Columbia University, “If you have never been rejected for love, you have not loved enough.” http://www.stat.harvard.edu/Site_Content/TheoryFoRejection.pdf
There is another perspective about rejection we fail to take into consideration.
Beyoncé sings a song called, “Best Thing I Never Had”. You know the song. It is a message about someone who she thought she wanted (badly). This guy, who she wanted, showed a part of himself that turned her off to wanting him. “I saw the real you” she says.
Sometimes the person we want so badly is not really what we want or is not good for us. We actually do “dodge the bullet” of severe pain and disappointment. And we need to be “So through with that”. Because that person could turn out to be the “Worse thing we never had“.
Sometimes the one, who rejects us, would be the one we would have rejected and ejected down the line. Rejection is saving us!
Unbeknownst to us, the spiritual forces are at work, intercepting and allowing those who are not good for us, to reject us, because we are limited in seeing down the road in order to make the best Love choices for ourselves. The one we want so badly are not always in our best interest as we go down the line with them.
There are other situations where people are so locked into their lives with someone else, and although it is not the situation they would choose— if they had the opportunity to do it again, but they choose not to have the courage to revamp their life and select the one who they would truly be happy with. They reject true Love and continue to select the one person who loves them only half as much— if that much! (How many of us know men and women like this?) If you are the one being rejected, and many folk are in this equation; it is their loss indeed!
In their rejection, it is less about you and more demonstrative of their fear to make the necessary changes to get the Love they want.
There is always that one person in life, which has rejected us, and is living a life of mediocrity, and loveless Love. How many people do we know who married the wrong person? How many of us know of a situation where a friend should have chosen a particular person to share their life with, and did not?
The one whom he/she rejected had to move on, but did very well indeed, in spite of being rejected. There is life after rejection!
Have you ever just missed a train that never made its destination? Have you ever just missed a plane you were scheduled for, but it never landed? Was there a job you really wanted, knowing you could have done well in it, did not get selected, but found out a year later, the business folded?
The same works for a person who we may have wanted so badly. He/She was not the person we were intended to be with.
We should also keep in mind, according to a Harvard research paper called, A (Hopefully) Well Accepted Statistical Theory of Rejection — “The probability that you will be accepted for everything you compete for is zero.” http://www.stat.harvard.edu/Site_Content/TheoryFoRejection.pdf
Being rejected has it benefits! We move on licking our wounds, but we rise. And unbeknownst to us, we find out as time takes its time to reveal, that the rejection worked out in our favor.
