Too Busy to Get Busy in the Bedroom!

Too Busy2
A relationship may be building a partnership when it comes to business, but getting busy in the bedroom should never be the last order of business, or the neglected order of business. Usually, when we are inundated with business, sex is mostly always the first to become last.

When the relationship becomes more about business, a routine sets in and things slowly begin to go downhill.  We get so involved in the business surrounding the relationship, that the actual core of the relationship is neglected.  A balance to business and the bedroom is important.

A false sense of security comes into play when we only talk about business.  Being consumed about business has nothing to do with the relationship’s core.

When we are so busy with business, and without the balance of intimacy, we allow exhaustion to become a problem. Notice I said allow.  Exhaustion will take us over, to the point,  where we actually lose interest in having sex, because just thinking about sex will appear physically exhausting.  If it takes too much effort in our mind, we won’t do it. This is a problem.  Our mind actually prepares us for sex, which is why we become physically aroused.  If we are not there in the mind, we will not become aroused in the body.  In an article called, “When The Sex Stops in a Relationship: Common Reasons Why,” two of the four reasons are: Exhaustion and Losing Interest.
http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/when-sex-stops-relationship-common-reasons-why  Too much of being tired generates non interest.

The love chats, touching, sexing, smiling and feeling gets lost in the details of business. They begin to serve only as reminders of what was.  When this happens, a slow process of separation begins.  Eventually, one partner begins to feel the slight separation and sexual deprivation.

For a while the deprived partner is willing to settle without the sex.  After all, sex isn’t everything. Right?  (WRONG)

It takes 21 days to establish a habit, http://blogs.ucl.ac.uk/hbrc/2012/06/29/busting-the-21-days-habit-formation-myth/  so it gets easier to settle for not having sex.  Relationship trouble!

When the sexual distance begins, we are not always willing to open up and talk about needing sex with our partner, so this makes matters worse.  This does not help to resolve our sexual distance.

After a while, all relationship “business” problems are cared for. For example, the business is moving, the children are jiving, and the clients are cared for and satisfied.  Talking about business together is not needed as much.  However, since the core relational communication has shifted, we have become consumed in everything surrounding us and foreign to everything between us.  Rather than react and focus on correcting the problem, even though the slight change of interaction in the relationship is felt, the problem persists and slowly eats away at the communication, closeness, the bond, the attraction, the emotional connection and the intimacy.  There are no arguments— yet, so it appears to be no evidence of any relational trouble.

Soon, the signs become a bit more obvious.  Even though there is a routine that provides some sense of normalcy, it feels different.  The intimacy that was once felt is not there. One partner, feeling something is different becomes insecure.  This is a definite tell-tale sign the relationship is no longer solid.  The reality of, “Someone has pulled out of the relationship” is quite possible.  https://www.wellsanfrancisco.com/the-real-scoop-on-why-couples-stop-having-sex/   The Real Scoop on Why Couples Stop Having Sex.

To try to remove the distance or the feeling of uneasiness, someone may initiate sex, but when it happens, there is a disconnect.  The sexual intimacy that was once there has been abandoned.  So, the sex is good, but not as great as it could be and not as it was before.  The problem can no longer be ignored.

Insecurity has now entered the relationship, and causes us to observe our partner more closely.   The observation is not for learning purposes, it is a search to find out what is going on.  The necessity for keeping tabs on our partner, prying, questioning, and observing social interactions and phone calls may all become a part us needing to feel secure that nothing is going on outside of the relationship. Now we are officially in relationship trouble, all because we were too busy for one of the most important necessities in a relationship.  Sex!

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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2 Responses to Too Busy to Get Busy in the Bedroom!

  1. then get busy where u are

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