Relationships: The Statistics of Our Decisions to Settle

Settling2

According to the shocking statistics we read, it is quite evident we are not making the best Love decisions for our lives.  Keep in mind that statistics are usually relative, at the time of research, and based on certain demographics. Even with this in mind, it is logical to conclude (generally) we are settling for a desperate emotional need, but that same need is the cause of our permanent dissatisfaction in the long run.

Why are we settling?  Have we lost the Love of our life?  Or have we yet to find him/her? Either way there are much better options than settling.

According to 32 Shocking Divorce Statistics:  The article, “Why Men Are Settling for Mrs. Good Enough

31 percent of adult men said they’d commit to a person they were not in love with—as long as she had all the other attributes they were looking for in a mate.

21 percent said they’d commit under those same circumstances to somebody they weren’t sexually attracted to.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/02/21/why-men-are-settling-for-mrs-good-enough.html

Some of the major problems men are having in relationships are sexual deprivation and dissatisfaction.  Settling with someone you are not attracted to, leaves no other result, but a sexless relationship.  We are settling to our dissatisfaction.

Askmen (Become a Better Man) had some interesting research results. http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/138_dating_girl.html 

40% of women said they could deal with a lazy man (someone who doesn’t help with the chores or who watches too much TV)

60% of women said they could overlook a man’s weight

40% of women said they could ignore bad habits (like public belching, farting and nose picking)

There is nothing livable or acceptable about a lazy man.  If watching too much television is his priority, he sure in hell is not paying attention to much else.  This results in neglect, lack of communication, a limited and unproductive sex life, minimal emotional intimacy and lack of relational focus.

Many women are more attracted to men who are toned or in good shape.  Settling for a guy who is not physically pleasing or attractive is very difficult to sex in bed, or even to be intimate with.  These women are tempted to cheat.  Isn’t the purpose of being with someone is to remove the need to look, seek, and be elsewhere? 

Nothing is cute about being uncouth. Public bad habits are a real problem. 

We not only settle in the relationship, but we make marriage the next step!  With a 50% chance of failure, and we choosing to settle, there is no wonder that a divorce is happening every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorce per week. http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/

41 percent of first marriages end in divorce
60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
73 percent of third marriages end in divorce

We can logically conclude we are failing to learn the lessons, because the statistics get higher at every marriage chance we take. What is great about these statistics is we are definitely not settling to stay for “continued” dissatisfaction.

Although, some of us stay in a damaged relationship, anyway.  The number one reason for staying in a damaged relationship is:  “I’d rather settle for him than be alone.”

Miser, Dani “Top 10 excuses folk use to stay in a relationship” Christian Dating Advice,
http://www.cbn.com/family/datingsingles/top-10-excuses-stay-bad-relationship-miser.aspx

Unless you live in Sweden where 47% of the population lives alone; and the US coming in at only 28% of the population that lives alone— this is a very small number to generate a fear factor.  Staying in this relationship is someone who is really desperate or fearful.  If the answer is fear are we not facing our own reality?

Internet dating Statistics: 40 Million Americans use online dating services, but at the same time 48% of breakups in online relationships happen by email.  Statistic Brain, http://www.statisticbrain.com/dating-relationship-stats/

Well, the dear John letters are now extinct!  We can now break up with you electronically. 

If you have met the person you truly Love, then you need to go for it.  Settling should never be an option or consideration!

If you’ve met the Love of your life and have somehow done some really stupid stuff, it does not matter.  Apologize profusely.  Do it!  What do you have to lose?  Your pride?  Get over it.  The alternative is becoming a statistic by settling for just anybody. 

If you are waiting, (because Love comes around at least once in our life) use other alternatives of the in between time and have fun with it!  Just do not lock down to it or marry to it.  Make those alternatives very appealing while satisfying your emotional and logical needs.  Therefore, you won’t be emotionally driven to settle.

If 71% of people believe in love at first sight:  http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/  Can’t we believe in the Love within our very reach?

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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