It is evident more folk are sexually frustrated than sexually satisfied.

There are more articles on identifiers to tell if a partner is cheating. The subject of abstinence before marriage is being reconsidered and even challenged. There are sites, forums and chat rooms where folk are not having enough sex (this includes married folk) and folk are walking away from the bedroom without an orgasm and without emotional intimacy.

Why are we not fulfilled?

We are missing the art of sensuality. We are missing the emotional intimacy. We are missing the one on one foundational connection that is necessary in order to make the act fulfilling and satisfying. We are not incorporating every sensual sexual and passionate advantage there is.  Some of us need to learn how to sex someone to ecstasy, therefore we need technique experience.  Some of us just need to be taught.

We hit it and quit it. Well, that shit is so played. If any person nowadays is allowing this type of sexual encounter, then this reading is not for you.

Women are faking orgasms! What! Make that man work for a holla!  Don’t inflate his ego unnecessarily making him think he has done well. Check him! He will come back again to try to please you.  His ego will not allow him to be sexually defeated.

Women are not working the kegels, thereby leaving men to pump in a large vaginal football field. In this case, men do not want a wide receiver, they want a tight end.  Work to keep that punani tight.

We women are making ourselves sexual scores for men who sex women night after night and day after day. Allowing him to take a picture of our assets to show he hit the punani and everything else that was laid out like a cheap buffet— there was truly no real sexual fulfillment. If emotional intimacy was involved, it would not be on Instagram, or a  phone for vast distribution.

Put your genitals in check and check out someone before you hop in bed with them.  Everything that’s hanging ain’t banging it right. Everything that looks tight, might prove your assumption ain’t right.

Oftentimes, we end up sexually frustrated, because we enter into a situation without observing and weighing certain capabilities.  Or we end up with a partner in whom we are not sexually compatible.  In many cases, the next step is taking the relationship to another level, rather than walking down the aisle to be frustrated in bed.

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Here are some mental notes you may find helpful in selecting your next partner or sexual partner.  They are many others.

• Observe movements, gestures, the eyes, and the general touch. Forget the yack, because everybody can’t mack.
• If there are missing teeth that means bad dental hygiene.
• If he is wobbling, he is awkward.
• If he talks too much, he is camouflaging and cannot emotionally connect.
• If there is no eye contact— the person is detached.  Meaning, emotional intimacy is out the window. You will be left feeling empty.
• If she wants it under the covers—she is inhibited.
• If he has an ego, you will intimidate him with your sexual experience.
• If there is a pot belly, the genitals may have gone inward, rather than outward.
• Everything with big muscles does not mean it comes with a pipe big enough to lay.
•  If she has bad eating habits, do not eat her.
• If he has to whine for it, you will regret it if you let him in your bed.  A man who is good does not have to beg for it.  (Unless it is the Temptations!)
• If he/she prefers oral sex over intercourse, there is an emotional disconnect.  You are embarking on distant and technical sex.
• If she is saying no, try to find out why. She may just be weighing your resilience. Resilience could mean a strong will, thus a strong man.
• If he can’t run, baby he can’t last.  He just might come real fast.
• If he is too heavy, he can’t ride you.  Be prepared to ride him, if that is what you want.
• If he cannot dance, his oral skills may be better than his ride.
• If he/she won’t or cannot kiss, you will not experience the emotional connection you need.
• If he is too smooth, check his quality.
• If she is too fine, she might jack you.  Some men are in jail because a beautiful girl has beat herself up, and put him up on faulty charges, because he sexed her and found out she was crazy.
• If the kisses are a little too sloppy, he may have more of a groping touch, rather than a passionate one.  He will miss some of the erogenous zones.

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When you have sex, give creative consideration to the experience. Step up your sex game— every time you engage.

If your partner is not sexing you, ask why. Are you sexually dull? Do you lay like a ham? Are you interested in one position?  Do you fail to initiate? Come on!  If you lack interest in sex, consider making a deal and allow your partner to bring in a sexual partner. Maybe you will get turned on again. Maybe you will learn something. Or maybe you will join in to re-awaken your sexual portal.  Provide an alternate sexual option for your partner, and above all, you may not want to realistically expect sexual exclusivity.

Two sexual beings should be able to have explosive sex night after night.  Trying is half the fun!  If you have stopped learning sexually, you are one big yawn of a routine. No one is excited about sexing you.

Let’s teach each other. Our minds have so much creativity–let’s use it.  Sexually. Together!

The more sexually observant we become, the less sexually frustrated we will be.