Complacency is a common and boring destroyer in relationships. It creates habit forming behavior that makes us very predictable. Boring and Predictable? It does not get more boring than that.
We become complacent when we stop doing what we were doing prior to meeting and capturing the heart of our partner. We become stale when we become habit forming (same sex position, same date night, same words, same looks, same everything, and the same responses). Some of us become so habit forming we do the same thing everyday like clock work.
We are boring our partner to misery!
Complacency comes in part, from our need to feel secure in the relationship. Why must we always seek external security? It is our biggest downfall.
How many times must we hear that security is an illusion? Don’t believe it? Okay…….
How secure is your job? How long are you going to live? When will the economy stabilize? Where will you be on March 12, 2014? How long will your partner live? Will you wake up in the morning?
You get the point. We seek external security in forces we cannot control.
The only force you can control is you. You can manage external situations, but you lack the power to control them.
Believing your partner will be yours for the duration of a lifetime is an uncertain expectation. With uncertainty as a reality, why are you slacking off thinking your partner will continue to downgrade from what you were providing before, when there is variety, diversity, and spontaneity walking past your door, on the street, all day everyday?
When you were going hard and putting every effort you had to win the heart of your partner, was that behavior “for a limited time only”? If so, then your partner will also be around “for a limited time only”. If your partner is still with you, in spite of your being incredibly boring, he/she is living in a world outside of you. The body might be there, but the heart and mind longs for someone and something better. Trust me. There is no security in that.
There is no time for complacency. Raise your game. Go hard. Stop the boredom!
We are living organisms, and as such, we are either living or dying. And some of us are so dead we are living a fate worst than death. Stagnation. Zombieism. Dead men walking.
Life is about continual growth and progression. There is always a goal to meet or something to do, because we are not where we want to be in life, nor have we completed our mission. So we work everyday, to our desired goal.
Being on the move or being progressive creates certain behaviors, like learning something new, or taking on a new project, launching a new initiative, creating a new idea, reading a different book, learning through research, or starting a new hobby. Working towards a goal gives us a newness or something different to bring to the table in the relationship.
This keeps us fresh, vibrant, interesting and growing.
And in growth we bring different perspectives, revamp some of our ideals, improve the way in which we are living, broaden our knowledge base, and enhance our belief system.
When a new thought takes place in the mind, the mind is more than one dimensional. It has the ability to apply that new thought spiritually, sexually, socially, personally, professionally, physically, verbally, mentally, and intellectually. This causes a shift and makes an adjustment, and this adjustment imports and creates a new or different behavior.
Get in the zone, and do something different today, and the next day, and then everyday, and watch your life change from boredom to variety. Why not start now? Awake your excitement and put back the spark in your relationship!
Reblogged this on Psichomofo and commented:
This is something I have been saying to my spouse and others for years. I sum it up as “Carpe Diem” or you never know when your last breath will be.
Ah! What a perfect “life” statement my Friend! And if we can just brand this thought in our mind and live this everyday, there would be absolutely no boredom. But we have a desperate need that causes devastating effects— to feel safe in a relationship. All we should be doing? To not seek external security, but provide it in ourselves and take our internal security and work the external dynamics to the fullest as if the moment we have will never return again! You are so right!