No one gets involved in a relationship to end up sexually deprived, unloved, not nurtured, emotionally deserted, not being able to connect and talk to his/her partner, and suffer through not being supported.
We get involved — to be involved.
If you are not communicating, and being honest about your feelings, you are a destroyer. Technically, if you are not talking, then you have secrets. Just as it is detrimental to have secrets among girlfriends, it is just as bad, if not worse, in a relationship. How can you be with someone, and claim to love them, but you can’t be honest?
Are you slow to respond to a problem your partner has explained to you? You are slowly destroying the relationship. The feelings expressed by your partner are important and of priority. If you are stalled on responding to his/her feelings or concerns, and if you put the matter on a shelf, you are avoiding the problem. You are not building your relationship. You are destroying it.
If you and your partner have agreed to be exclusive and you have agreed affirmatively to those terms, then you are to be just that. Exclusive. If you are slipping and dipping, trying and prying with others outside of your relationship, you are not building, you are destroying.
When you say you are going to do something, or you make a promise or commitment, your word is your bond. Your word is you. If you are skipping and slipping on what you have said, you are a fraud and a liar. You are a destroyer.
If you are holding on to the relationship without feeling or having any real involvement, you are a destroyer. Think about it. How can you appear to be involved by appearance only? You only appear to be a part of the relationship, yet in your heart of hearts you are not connected? But you pretend to be? You sure as hell are not building.
Your partner wants sex more frequently, you are able to provide that, but instead you leave your partner wanting sex? You are destroying your sex life, thus your relationship.
How did you start out in the relationship? It is the on start of your actions that sets the tone and expectations of what you are going to bring. If you were highly sexual from the on start and you have deviated from that, and your partner is still expecting what you originally provided, it does not matter how long it has been, you are a destroyer.
Are you always nagging and complaining? Are you always critical and cynical? Are you mostly negative and are limited in being positive? You are not building.
Being a spectator is not a way to build your relationship. If your partner is doing all of the work, listening to you, understanding you, letting you have your way and your say, communicating all of the time, planning mostly everything for both of you to be together, and you are doing nothing and acting as if you are in “cruise don’t care control”? You are a destroyer!
If you are a breach of trust, and a liar— then you know you are a destroyer.
If you are a user, feel entitled, and you are selfish? Destroyer!
Your partner is handling the financial load alone, and you are laid up doing nothing: then you are a destroyer. It takes two, each to do their part—- unless you both have agreed that you will sit home and do nothing. You are destroying.
Emotional support is critical. If you are acting as though you are incapable of human emotion, and you cannot show love, care or concern? You are an emotional destroyer.
No relationship starts off with these issues. If it had there would be no relationship. To not maintain what you had means the relationship is being destroyed. To not grow in the relationship is to put the relationship in a state of stagnancy. Either way? Relationship destruction.
Be a relationship builder, and not a destroyer.