You must bring value to the relationship. Your contribution remains a continual question in the relationship. Not just upon entering the relationship, but also the duration.
The value you bring either moves the relationship or it creates stagnancy.
Are you looking for a partner to fulfill your “self” needs? Are you looking for an easy fix for your “self” work which is vital to your self worth, that only you can do?
Are you looking for contentment? Contentment is about how you live. Your morals and ethics. It is about you being pleased with your life, how well you treat others and not bogged down with the mistreatment of others, not being hateful and jealous, and living a life of authenticity and upward progression.
Living with a clear conscience is achieved by letting your conscience be your counsel. Not those who will not tell you when you’re wrong.
What are you looking for in your relationship? Are you looking for a handout? A parent you never bonded with? Or are you looking for a partner, a companion, and friend, to be beside you through the course of life.
What do you look for in a partner? A person who you can control? A person you can use? Or a person who supplements and complements who you are and you can share your entire self with?
Do you know what love is? Love is the highest feeling of care and like, and it deepens in a way that not only permeates every dimension of the relationship, but it allows two people to become close to one thought, one spirit, one mind, one belief, and goals.
How much of a burden does your emotional weaknesses put on the relationship? How much patience must your partner provide and put up with your weakness until you fix yourself?
What are your intentions? Are you in the relationship for you? Or are you bringing your best?
Are you a taker? Are you the giver? Or are you a balance of the take and give. Do you understand how reciprocity works? You never take more than you give.
Are you communicating? Are you keeping an open dialogue with your partner? Are you able to bring new ideas, various perspectives, and interesting things to discuss?
Are you boring to be with? Is your partner carrying the relationship?
Are you listening? Do you hear what your partner is saying. Do you provide your undivided attention when your partner is talking to you?
Are you a victim to your emotions? Do you consistently rant because of your feelings without any logic or reason? Do you go on emotional spasms where what you feel becomes an issue in the relationship? Or are you able to drive your emotions by logic?
Are you sexually compatible? Do you match your partner’s sexual frequency?
Are you sexually free? Do you sex in the zone? Or are you inhibited, and with too many restrictions? Is having sex with you boring?
Are you negative? You can note this by how many negative things you say in a conversation. Do you have a quota to meet where you have something negative to say in every conversation?
Do you have gratitude? Do you have an appreciation for your life, and life in general. Are you appreciative of your partner?
Do you think your partner owes you something? Do you have a sense of entitlement? Or do you know the value of self achievement and understands that no one— not even your partner owes you anything. So when you are the receiver of a gesture of kindness you are grateful.
What value do you really bring to the relationship?