Our Relationship Will Fail if……

There are certain combinations that are relationship destroyers. We often enter a relationship based solely on our feelings, which is normal, but feelings are not capable of making decisions. Feelings are emotions without logic. It is important to share as many commonalities as possible in order to stabilize the relationship. A relationship needs a fighting chance. If we are in a relationship, it is best to continually manage its progress, because if we do not, the relationship could be on a decline. Should it be on a decline, and cannot recover, it is always best to end it, rather than pay the devastating emotional price for holding on.

If you cannot expand your commonalities, you put the relationship at risk. If you allow your differences to separate you, it will not work; if one is the sole giver and one is the taker; if one is positive, and the other is a cynic, and judgmental, it is only a matter of time before the relationship is strained, leading to a separation that will explode during an unavoidable disagreement.

If one is a closeted homosexual, and the other a heterosexual, it will not work; if one is growing and reinventing his/herself, and the other is stagnate, one will outgrow the other. This too leads to separation.

If one apologizes, and the other has a hard time in apologizing, this takes much compromising and understanding. The apologetic one is being direct in trying to bring the situation to a resolve. The unapologetic one is avoiding, causing continual residue which accumulates over time. This will only go so far. If one keeps their word, and the other fails to deliver on their word, it is only a matter of time when the trust barriers are completely breached.

If one partner is selfish and the other partner is giving, it will not work. Givers always self-reflect and self-check to keep the balance. The Selfish continues to consume goodness. A time will come when the giving partner will do inventory, and find that the returns in the relationship are minimal— at best.

Long distance relationships must maintain a balance of value. Otherwise, one will feel taken for granted. If one travels for the relationship and the other doesn’t, again, a time for inventory will come where the costs will be weighed against the strength of the love in the relationship. One will assume the premium of the relationship is not highly regarded.

Sweeping issues under the rug or putting them on the shelf will accumulate more problems than the original problem, while building frustration and anger. It will soon take one too many arguments that will bring everything to the fore front. Suppressing conflict devalues the relationship and undermines the feelings of the partner who wants a resolve in order to move forward.

Unless you are a swinging couple and have an agreement of sleeping with other couples, or other people, sleeping outside of the relationship will breach the trust, love, and communication. The relationship will appear to have been built on a lie.

If both partners are competitive and do not know how to engage in a healthy challenge, you open the portal of jealousy, low self-esteem, and resentment that leads to separation.

If a couple is not engaging in sex to satisfy and enhance continued compatibility in frequency, passion, and spontaneity, you open the door for external options.

A relationship requires balance. If one partner has stronger skills or capabilities that he/she brings to the relationship, the other partner must work hard to find a way to bring the value. Any slack or deficiency causes the relationship to suffer. If one partner feels taken for granted, and unloved in comparison to what they are putting in, one of two things will happen. The partner will submit to being unhappy and stay in the relationship. Or they will become resentful, angry and disappointed in their partner, while thinking of a way to end the relationship.

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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