Nothingness says Everything


“Nothingness is the state of being nothing.” It is the state of doing nothing.

“It’s often said that you can’t get something from nothing. And while this may be true for most practical applications of your life, it isn’t true for our physical Universe.”

This statement may be scientifically valid, but from the perspective of relationships, do not underestimate the power of Nothingness.

A woman arrived on my blog, because she typed the words, “why a man won’t kiss or say I love you back.” It broke my heart that she is going through that, and even more heart wrenching is she knows the answer she is searching for.

If he is not touching you, he does not want to. If he does not want to return your love in action, word, or deed: he will not do so. We have seen men climb mountains for pussy. He is giving you Nothingness— code for, “I do not love you.” “I do not want to. I am not into you. I will not…I do not….” He is giving you a bunch of Nothingness that says everything. It is no different for a guy involved with a woman who is giving him a bunch of Nothingness. The actions and messages are all the same.

Many of us are putting up with Nothingness, and some of us are dishing out Nothingness. It appears we are living in a time where Nothingness (could be) the new truth— the truth in saying everything without saying a word. Hey! You want out of a relationship? Just do nothing! You don’t even have to say anything. Nothingness is saying everything by doing absolutely nothing.

Allow me to call it “the bitch move.” Rather than end it like a man, or end it like a woman, you just do nothing? So-you-just-“do-nothing”-your-way-out-of-a-relationship? Ultimately, one person is stepping out of the relationship by doing nothing, yet appearing to still be a part of the relationship. (Yes, being there implies being in!) The response of Nothingness is deceiving, misleading, and manipulative while controlling a situation. It is the beginning of the end without the confrontation of saying, “The End.”

If you are giving 100% and he is giving 40%— Nothingness. If she says she is going to do something, and she does not keep her word— Nothingness. If you are the one making most of the moves in the relationship— Nothingness. If you are the giver and he is the taker. If you are the doer, and she is just sitting back going for the ride. If you are dishing out the cash, but he always has a stash? Nothingness!

To maintain the balance of goodness in the relationship, both should be willing to bring all of their individual value into the relationship. But sitting back and receiving all the goodness, with a response of Nothingness, is totally unacceptable.

Nothingness operates in one of two ways: The arrogant and entitled individual who flagrantly holds no regard for your love; or the coward, who eventually slips out, because the fear of saying anything is just too hard.

The analysis of nothing can be applied mathematically. Notice how zero with any number in the equation, equals the sum of the number. For example, (0+1=1), (0+10=10), (0+100=100). Note that zero makes no contribution to the equation. The partner who is doing nothing is the zero and you are the number that creates the value to the equation of your relationship. Essentially, you are the only one bringing all of the value to your relationship. Logically and mathematically, you are alone in the relationship.

It is time to reconcile and count up the costs.

Sometimes we get lost in someone. We forget there is a big world outside of our four walls. Explore! Expand! Accelerate the Life Pedal a little bit! Do not allow one person out of millions of people cause you to shut down to Love. Use the pain to dive into something that is productive. Allow some good to come out of your experience, and work in your favor, despite the nothingness.

About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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5 Responses to Nothingness says Everything

  1. Earl Young says:

    Should not this blog be for both sides of the relationship? When a woman decides she wants to do nothing (a kiss, hug or sex) are we as men suppose to understand this as her desire to no longer be in the relationship as you mention women should think when it comes to men? to make the assumption that the relationship is over negates the issues that sometimes comes to man that albeit wrong, something he cannot seem to share. Lets understand that “nothingness” is should never be in a relationship. Constant motion of desire, want and need must exist so that we can evolve.

    • Hi Bro Earl!
      Thank you for reading!

      You are correct! This blog is for both sides as referenced when I wrote the statement of, “It is no different for a guy involved with a woman who is giving him a bunch of Nothingness. The actions and messages are all the same.” Totally for both sides. I am definitely aligned with you that “Nothingness” should not exist in a relationship–ever. However, if it does, regardless of whether it is done by she or he — there is a problem. And there are indicators and signs of Nothingness as I have outlined.

      As for the women who may need to boost up their intimacy level, and are involved in the relationship (not showing indicating signs of nothingness, of course) then my posting called, “Boredom to Whoredom” definitely states my position (for both sides).

  2. Liz Willis says:

    Thank you Natalie! I must admit, another thoroughly well written tutorial!!! I have to say, while reading and processing, and remaining an advocate enthusiast of your blog, just as I began to really settle down and take it in, it was the end! LOL! As always I thoroughly enjoyed my read!

    You always manage to deviate from the negate, while steering your readers into a more confident, positive method of thinking and life re-assessment!

  3. tina says:

    Enjoyed the read Nat. I totally agree with what you are saying here. We all know if someone is into us or not. Some times women just stay in it just because they want to say they have a man, or they are afraid of being alone and don’t think they can stand on there own. Whatever the case may be. It’s time to be true to “you” so that you and everyone else involved can live there best life. A life with someone they love, and loves them back. Know yourself worth. Don’t take advantage or be taken advantage of. Just be true to you.

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