Self Commitment

Self Commitment is the foundation of all commitments.

We believe all things start at home— home training, manners, eating habits, upbringing, etc. This belief can also apply to everything that extends beyond the inner self. Loving, believing, trusting, committing, determination, values, and qualities, — these things and more starts with self. How can we really love someone when we do not love ourselves? We can measure the self love we have; by how much we love our partner.

Building self commitment takes work, but it is very rewarding.

Know yourself. This takes going back to your origin— your history. History is the revelator of your past, while leading you down the path of knowledge in knowing how the past impacts life and current conditions. It helps you to understand the axiology of your people which impacts not only the relationship with your partner, but all people. Read: “What They Never Taught You in History Class.” It is a fascinating read and I see people of every kind reading this book.

Love Yourself. Appreciate your accomplishments. Know what you are good at. Become one with yourself and become familiar with your vulnerabilities and your strengths. A great book for this is Iyanla Vanzant, “In the Meantime.”

Forgive Yourself. Yes of your past. If it was not your fault— don’t own it. If you have a past that you are not proud of, reconcile that as the “former” and move on in the “new” you. Forgiveness is a heart purifier. It will allow you to genuinely forgive others.

Be Patient. Yes, you will need time to work on you. Enjoy the continual journey. When you have stopped working on yourself, know that you are not developing into your best self. Take your time, put in the work, because if you don’t you are wreaking havoc on someone’s life. Everyone pays for your inner fears, secrets and unfinished work.

Remove the Anger: I am a believer anger breeds cancer, tumors, sickness, etc. Work through the anger. It is very difficult to remove anger without a resolve or some recourse to satisfy it. Channeling it puts the passion in a workout, a lecture, a conversation, a punching bag, even a cause that needs your passion. This is where anger becomes productive.

Take every experience and begin to inner incorporate as to how you are better because of it. If you work the experience, rather than allowing it to work you, you will be stronger while building your wisdom database. Even if the intent of the situation was to destroy or discredit you, allow it to work for you rather than against you.

What are your goals? What is your daily plan for achieving them? Read: “177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class” Steve Siebold. If you do not have any goals you are being stagnant.

Speak truth, and allow others to speak truth to you. Truth toughens your heart, mind, soul and spirit. It is like taking a punch. Take it! However, do not take in the feelings of others, unless there is reasonable support of the emotion. Never mix emotion with truth or fact.

Stay true to you. Do not be swayed by everything someone says. Do not always be found in the mainstream. Be outstanding in your own right. Be an individual.

Appreciate everything. Everyday try to wake up with gratitude. Be grateful to be alive and make everyday count. When someone gives you something, be appreciative. Do not feel you are entitled. Appreciation creates a newness of perspective and happiness for living.

Keep your word. Never deviate from it. If you can’t keep it— do not say it. Your word is you and you are your word. Be committed to your word.

Be responsible and take ownership of a mistake. It takes a strong character to say, “I messed up.” Knowing mistakes impacts your credibility; you will be diligent and work to limit mistakes. Own it. Learn from it. Then move on.

Be confident you can do anything you want to do. Forget the naysayers and non believers. Sometimes do not tell anyone— just do it. Your will is yours and yours alone. It comes with your invisible power. Read: “Your Invisible Power” by Genevieve Behrend

Develop your heart to be giving. Remove selfishness. Give when in your power to give.

Being self committed is about building your value system. Your value system will impact your relationship in many ways. The results from your internal work, makes you stronger, knowledgeable, and understanding. Your understanding will expand because you will be able to see yourself in others, which will create empathy for their plight.

You will be more dependable, credible, accountable, and responsible. Your self confidence will build due to the knowledge you are building and the accomplishment of what you are seeking to achieve. This will validate who you are and you will begin to understand as to why you are. Your appreciation for all things will enhance your self esteem, solidifying your aura, where others will see it. Some may even be intimidated. That is okay. Consider it as a filter for who should be a part of your life. Everything is not for everybody. You only want those who love you and are sincerely for you, to be with you. Some will misinterpret your self esteem and confidence as lacking humility. This is par for the course. Know it is not that you are so stuck on yourself (folk are quick to think you are—aren’t they?) but you have paid your dues and have certainty of what you know about you. No one can do that for you, but you.

You will not take abuse, half ass results and selfish behavior from others, because being an advocate of truth will strength your truth IQ, to discern the artificial from authenticity. Your output from self creates the input of quality into your relationship and your life. The quality you put out will return the quality of life back to you.

You will take the relationship to levels you could not before— not because a commitment is necessary, but the commitment to you and your well being is even greater. What you put into your relationship is only a holistic flow and benefit from building the self commitment.

Making appreciation your daily companion will generate the laws of attraction to ignite the universe to bring you more and more goodness!

Self Commit!

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About dontdestroyrelationship

I am passionate about Relationships. To be in a Relationship you need skills. Some of the best skills to have are: a creative perspective, strategy in developing a win-win for both sides, be able to speak and receive honest communication, stay persistent, yet calm in conflict, some negotiation skills, and humor. These skills and more you need--- without emotion. If you have logic as the primary and emotion as secondary, there is nothing you cannot overcome in a relationship. I tell you how you bring destroyers into your relationship. Join me! It is a fascinating and revealing journey.
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6 Responses to Self Commitment

  1. Liz Willis says:

    WOW! Thank you for sharing with us the enduring methods of self commitment! You have thoroughly elucidated the defining mechanism of self commitment! Once again, we have had the pleasure of not only the comprehension of self commitment, but also the realization of our self worth! You have managed to capture many facets of anthropology throughout your phenomenal writing!

    We can also apply the key of self commitment/self worth to our daily lives: Be persistent and Investing in yourself.

    Thank you, Natalie!

    • Liz,
      Thank you so much for going the journey and expressing the impact of what is written. My goal is to create a more holistic process of bringing value to our relationships while increasing our self value. One works the other. I hope you read these posts with a cup of coffee (or tea) OK a shot of whiskey (LOL) and get your meditation on for the day!

  2. tina says:

    Hey nat. Love this one. It is solo true and right on point. This is the place I have come to in my life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and views.

  3. Jabbo says:

    I have to go along with this. But Commitment, whew!! So, are you kinda saying, Don’t bother with others being committed to you as long as you are committed to yourself it’s all good? Get rid of that so and so and find the right one.

    • Mr. Jabbo. Wonderful question! The point to the post is, if we make self-commitment the first priority, then the external commitment to our partner will be more of a holistic, easier, effective, deeper, authentic, and loving commitment.

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