According to dictionary.com, “Emotion is defined as any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking.”
Our emotional system is the host and driver of everything we feel, but it does not have the ability to explicate why we feel. The brain does that. In an article called, “How The Brain Controls Emotions” researchers named Amit, Etkin, and Joy Hirsch reported that specific parts of an area of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC)–a center for so-called “executive” control of neural processing–are connected to the amygdala. The amygdala is the brain’s major center for processing emotional events. http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/52415.php
Emotion is usually the primary driver for most people. Many situations boil down to how we feel, not how we rationalize. If we can stop to critically analyze the situation, we would save ourselves of a lot of emotional damage.
When you feel anger, you go on an emotional rampage. In trying to explain to your partner how you feel, most likely you lack the communicable ability to explain “why” you are feeling. This minimizes the importance of your problem. Unless your partner is an empath, it is impossible to understand the depth of your feelings. Only solid reasoning will provide some information that allows your partner to draw parallels to your position that he or she can relate to, which will help him or her to be empathetic.
If you are someone who yells and screams, it can be mentally paralyzing. The trauma of a loud voice, and the height of your emotion limits one’s ability to process rationally what you are trying to say. Your dramatization creates a response of defense–not a response of understanding. No one likes to be yelled at. So, to avoid the drama, some partners feign understanding just to keep the peace. The purpose of communicating is to strengthen your relationship and develop an understanding of who you are in the relationship and why you are. Instead, this boils down to nothing but drama.
Your feelings are important. They need to be acknowledged, understood, and reconciled. If you do not reconcile and compartmentalize your emotions, an imbalance occurs to your emotional system. The results of being imbalanced are, sensitivity, easily flustered, feeling sorry for yourself, thinking no one cares about you, etc. Having these feelings diminishes your self-value system.
Perform an emotional audit and you will most likely find that your feelings reflect a self deficiency that needs to be modified, repaired, or eradicated.
We do not take very much time to strengthen our emotional system, because at the end of every feeling, someone is there holding the last nerve you have. Sometimes we give folk way too much power. Rather than making someone responsible for every emotional upheaval you have, consider why you are providing that allowance. Give that power only to those in your first inner circle– your partner, family and very close friends. And do that with great consideration.
Unless your partner have said or done something to hurt your core and your heart; unless there has been a breach of your trust; unless some flagrant violation has taken place, try to reconcile the emotion.
Protect yourself by not making an emotional investment in every situation.
Conduct an emotional audit before making your partner pay for your emotional weakness.
Master your emotion!